Coffee Reflects Your Personality!

by Steve Sheppard

This month I delve into how the coffee you drink reflects your personality. This is far from palm-reading stuff: there’s a lot to be said based on what kind of coffee you drink. From astute observations and conversations over the decade I was a barista I developed the same insight as that of a bartender, who at the end of the day may be able to help you figure out life for less money than a counsellor.

Coffee drinks and personality … here we go:

White Mocha Drinkers – do a lot of Facebooking, are trying to look sophisticated and continually buy everything with too much sugar in it … my guess is they decorate their surroundings with frills.

Latte Drinkers – like to savour their coffee, taking time to ponder life’s complexities, and are often inspired by a past trip to Europe or Central America.

Cappuccino Drinkers – These folks can be complicated. Straight-down-the-middle “Cap” drinkers are fairly predictable and are texture people: the kind of person that will avoid a certain food because of how it feels in their mouth (no matter how good it tastes). Complication creeps into the cappuccino world when people get “specific” about how much foam they want – in millimetres! – and these ones typically dress the same as the people they’re with. Then there’s the cappuccino drinker who wants half the caffeine because they are convinced they have a “sensitivity” to it (amongst other things). These ones likely spend a lot of time in the refund line up at department stores and don’t cut the grass at home.

Carmel Macchiato Drinkers – This one is tough … these folks can be moody: sweet one moment and on the warpath the next. When I am with a caramel macchiato drinker I’m always ready to duck quickly.

Americano Drinkers – these people are value seekers. They aren’t looking for caffeine so much as taste. They can be very specific … anal retentive in fact. The ones who want a specific number of seconds on their shot likely have sex with their socks on … I’ve yet to verify this fact, but if I was a gamblin’ man!

Black Coffee Drinkers – simply know what they want and are minimalists. If you checked their bank accounts you’d likely find a healthy sum … smart people these ones are.

Drip Coffee Drinkers (with a ton of milk or cream) – total socialites … they are people of convenience and will stop any place to get a coffee if the conversation is good.

Misto Drinkers – (watered down lattes). These folks will bounce to the next “in” thing in an instant and then will try and tell you how it should be made, or how to drive your car, water a plant etc. I know it sounds cliché, but I have to say it all became clear to me one day when I passed a misto to this lady with a smile and said “enjoy,” to which she replied: “Well, in West Van they … “ which makes these folks the kind who also expect you to read minds – something I gave up a long time ago.

Long live the French press, espresso and a good cup of Turkish coffee, which are other coffee drinks of the sane. Steve out.